I Already Had The Hope

April 1981 in southern California two very different groups met to address the drug problem.  On April 22^nd Jim Keane, Chief of Police for the Santa Monica Police Department, testified before the Select Committee on Narcotics Abuse and Control in Los Angeles.¹ Four days later, 146 recovering addicts met at the Retail Clerks Union Hall on 2^nd Street in Santa Monica for the 4^th World Literature Conference (WLC) of Narcotics Anonymous. 

At the Community Action to Combat Drug Abuse hearings, Chief Keane answered questions from the Select Committee about increases in crime related to drugs, including a brutal murder of two teenagers by a man allegedly under the influence of PCP.  The hearings also contained some controversy because it included a “Congressional inquiry into the Hollywood cocaine connection.”  A spokeswoman for the Screen Actors Guild was quoted as saying, “We are tired of people always starting their investigations with Hollywood just because it is prominent and will generate publicity.”  Others feared it would result in a “blacklist reminiscent of the McCarthy Era.”²

Representative Robert K. Dornan (CA), countered upon his return from Washington he was displeased that the first thing he heard on the radio was Los Angeles “is the rape capital of the Western World.”  He argued that this should be the headline story and not the “media hype of two performers, trying to get themselves publicity.”³

Meanwhile, at the 4^th WLC, there was a different form of intrigue emerging.  An analysis of the minutes shows that 146 members attended the 4^th NA WLC.  Of these, 116 (79%) were attending their first NA WLC.  Eighty-nine percent of first-time attendees (103) were from California.  Prior to Santa Monica, only four California members had attended a WLC.⁴  With this, many attendees had questions and concerns about the review form that was distributed just more than two months earlier.  One member in particular, Nickie J. (Nickie C. in 1981), has been invaluable in providing insight into this.

At the time of the 4^th WLC, Nickie was living in Bellflower, CA, about 30 miles southeast of Santa Monica.  In a 2021 interview, Nicki recalled how her Area had discussed the review form of the Basic Text.  They thought it was the final and complete draft.  Based on this misconception, they voted to send someone to attend the 4^th WLC and vote “for them to not be writing the book.”⁵  Nickie was the person they sent.

On April 26^th, Bo opened the 4^th NA WLC opened with a moment of silence followed by the Serenity Prayer.  He then asked each person to share why “they were at the conference” and “what they hoped would be accomplished.”⁷ In listening to Nickie recall this experience, one may contemplate the power of proximity.  When proximate to others with experiences different from her own, Nickie’s perspective changed.  The behavior change that followed underscores how impactful the opening to the 4^th NA WLC was.

The following transcript is from the interview with Nickie.

“…when I got there I was surprised to see how many people were there and how many people I didn’t know. So, I’m sitting there, and I’m half way directly opposite Bo, and as each person talked about their area and the state they came from and the area they came from and how there was no…how they didn’t have meetings and how they didn’t have a book, and how they didn’t have something to take to the newcomer who was brand new…

…and sometimes, they would drive 200 miles to a meeting, Mississippi to Louisiana, different places like that. And I was so used to California, where, even though we were starting meetings, in a half an hour, I could be somewhere.  And then, eventually, towards that time, I could be at a meeting every single day and not have to drive that far.

…And so, for me, it was a shock to hear that there weren’t meetings like that everywhere else.  I thought that it was the same everywhere.  And to hear each one of these people talk, by the time they got to me, I was in tears, ’cause I realized that addicts were dying and that we needed to carry the message better. And the only way to do that would be the way that the forefathers of the other program had done it, and to write a book that could be sent anywhere and could be read by that new addict at three o’clock in the morning when he or she didn’t wanna call someone.”⁸

Nickie did not vote against the book.  Instead, she drove home, packed her things, quit her job and returned for the rest of the literature conference.  She committed to do whatever she could to further the “effort to create a book for addicts, by addicts.”⁹  Quite a reversal from what she was tasked to do by her Area.

Nickie attended the next two World Literature Conferences (5^th in Warren, OH & 6^th in Miami, FL).  On her way to the 5^th NA WLC, she had another impactful experience that resulting from exposure to people with different experiences than her own.  Nickie received a call from a husband and wife who lived in Cincinnati and were staying clean with the help of a priest and a White Book.

“…We drove over there, and we brought the literature, and we brought a working guide, the little one, and talked to them about their meeting and had their first real NA meeting.

The best part of the story for me was standing on the balcony of this young couple’s apartment before the meeting. And it still brings tears to my eyes…Chuck asked me, ‘Well, how long have you been clean?’

And I said, ‘Five years.’

And he burst into tears, and I thought, ‘I didn’t mean to hurt his feelings.’

And he said, ‘I didn’t know an addict could stay clean that long.’

That was the best part to me, the hope.  Because like I said, I was kinda spoiled.  I already had the hope, and I didn’t know that other people didn’t.”

Nickie’s experience remains relevant.  How can proximity increase awareness of different experiences?  Do I hold a point of view that might evolve if I consider the perspective of someone else?

To hear Nickie recount this in her own voice, check out this short video on Preserving the Message’s YouTube channel.

The two events held within days of one another in April 1981 in Los Angeles County differed significantly.  One was rooted in the institutions of government and law enforcement.  The other was comprised of individuals who self-organized in response to the failure of institutions to help them.  One relied upon tax-payer dollars while the other was self-funded.  One focused on drug supply, public safety, and prevention.  The other focused on finalizing a book containing “all the things we do to get clean, stay clean and help others.”¹⁰ Meetings since then can be distinguished by whether they focus on moral panic about the problem and theoretical solutions of the future or solutions that already exist for tens of thousands of individuals and families.

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1. Keane, J. (1981).  Testimony of Jim Keane, Chief, Santa Monica Police Department to Community Action to Combat Drug Abuse of the Select Committee on Narcotics Abuse and Control, Ninety-Seventh Congress, First Session, April 22 and 23, 1981, p. 148. ↩︎
2. UPI (1981). Stars in Hollywood Flee Cocaine Probe. Cumberland Evening Times¸ April 22, 1981, p. 2. ↩︎
3. Dornan, R. (1981). Testimony of Robert K. Dornan, Chief, Santa Monica Police Department to Community Action to Combat Drug Abuse of the Select Committee on Narcotics Abuse and Control, Ninety-Seventh Congress, First Session, April 22 and 23, 1981. ↩︎
4. WSC Literature Committee (1981).  Minutes to the 4^th World Literature Conference.  Santa Monica, CA, April 1981. ↩︎
5. Nickie J. (2021).  Interview of Nickie J. by Chris Budnick and Francis C., January 23, 2021. ↩︎
6. Bo S. (1981). Letter to Fellow Members, April 1981. ↩︎
7. WSC Literature Committee (1981).  Minutes to the 4^th World Literature Conference.  Santa Monica, CA, April 1981, p. 1. ↩︎
8. Nickie J. (2021).  Interview of Nickie J. by Chris Budnick and Francis C., January 23, 2021. ↩︎
9. Nickie J. (2021).  Interview of Nickie J. by Chris Budnick and Francis C., January 23, 2021. ↩︎
10. Bo S. (1981). Letter to Fellow Members, April 1981. ↩︎